Six-pack abs. Our founders got them in six weeks, but why are there weeks left to accelerate the process? I really want to know if I can finish it in a day. I’m like Willy Wonka’s Veruca salt and chocolate factory, and my metaphor for golden eggs is a rock-solid double temptation, relying on their six-pack abs. I’ve made up my mind: now I want them.
Project: consult cutting-edge exercise and weight loss research to develop a foolproof plan to tackle fat problems from all angles. I spent a day calculating my diet, exercise and lifestyle, and then took photos of my progress.
6:27-007 in the morning
When I got out of bed, I knew I was a big challenge. I pushed the alarm an hour early, so I could squeeze in three sets of 200 sit-ups (a two-gallon kettle filled with lemons and two frozen blueberries) before breakfast. Next, I strapped myself to a vibrating flexible belt, the first fda-approved belt coloring system for adjusting, tightening, fastening and strengthening abs segments. I had a seven-inch stain in the pit on the train and I didn’t even move.
11:15 a.m. – dingding dingdong rabbit
The first sign of a rumble in my stomach in the morning, I pointed to the carrot. It drives me crazy, but I have a talent for killing people – a stone project. Although my colleague is in charge of Chipotle and Just Salad, I know a major carrot – only diet gives me the perfect orange glow and really brings out my natural outline. Before you laugh at me eating all these carbs, I order a low-carb carrot to beat the bloat. I ate 11 carrot sticks – soft belts always make me hungry.
In the afternoon 2:45. – all or nothing
I cleaned up the office space and collected our professional trainers’ recommendations for Shake Weight, Flexor Flex, and Ab Rockets. I undressed and wore the sauna suit I ordered the week before. I did three sets of 100 inverted sit-ups and blew off some steam on Ab Rocket (while accumulating more steam in my clothes). Then he returned to the bar, got my legs and blisters, and pulled out three sets of inverted sit-ups. I can’t lie – I’m suppressed. I was also a bit humiliated, hanging in a business place, miserable, wearing a huge black trash bag like my father used to pull out tilted leaves. Sweat gathered at the door. If I broke the floor, my boss threatened to stop paying me, but I knew I had to turn on the power. Later, I gave myself a warm brown rice cake and a long cold shower. I’ve never felt so alone.
4:30 PM – H2No
My pictures have been taken for hours now, and it’s time to cut down on my drinking. I limit myself to four drops of water per hour, which is a formula I encountered while studying online. Sound crazy? But by manipulating my drinking before a photo shoot, like all fitness models, my muscles may be more visible at the end of the day. To be exact, I had to turn around when my editor, Jordan, fed the water with a pipette. Men are my desires.
6:30 p.m. – haha
After all these years of sweat, I’m happy to try laughter, which is the latest trend in targeted abdominal fitness. I messed up my colleague’s email for at least 35 minutes. Although my stomach felt like an incinerator, I began to lose focus on the computer screen and get tired of the rude stuff. I knew I had to push it out in an hour, so I fired a big shot. Each of my colleagues rubbed their feet in turn and then added another five minutes until I got back to work. After walking for 10 minutes, I encountered an unknown wall of exhaustion in my 22 years of life. My vision began to blur. I thought I wanted Ralph. Fortunately, the great lead researcher David stepped in at the last minute.
8:00 – say cheese
It’s time for a big leak. When the photographer was founded, her assistant sprayed me with cooking oil so I could shine. When we were satisfied with a bunch of glamour shots, I gave myself a real glass of water, a Mexican band and a beautiful white horse, rented a beautiful white horse to ride in times square and showed all my hard work.
Of course, I’ve achieved my six-pack goal in a day. But this is not the time to not try. I’ve put some very important relationships in a stalemate, and I’ve focused on the limits. My dog ran away from home and I was fired. When I made him think my stone was hard, my boyfriend even broke his finger. He broke up with me.
Will I challenge for another day? Probably not. In the end, I could feel the fact that I had sacrificed a day for some amazing results. However, when I relax my waist on the way home, I don’t think it’s worth it to treat and change my lifestyle, because the hardness difference between sapphires and diamonds is so great.